"That any should be sought out is matchless grace, but that we should be sought out is grace beyond degree! We can find no reason for it but God's own sovereign love,
 and can only lift up our heart in wonder." ~ C. Spurgeon

"You shall be called Sought Out....Not Forsaken." Is 62:12

I'm so grateful that sometimes life doesn't make sense.

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A June wedding. So lovely.







So happy.

Oh no, I'm becoming a delinquent Xangan once again! In three days I'm off to my daughter's up in NY. In 10 days we are back up in NY to say goodbye to extended family,
in 26 days, the moving trucks are pulling out. Still no idea as to what driveway we will be pulling into, however. Yes, the operative word is adventure.
In the meantime, I continue to pack, give away, throw out and clean.
Much to do, much to do!

Here's a good thought....

"Do not run from weariness, but learn from it." ~ A. Pierson

Yes, much to learn. Ah, the question always is - what are you saying, Lord?
I think the main thing I hear is: Trust Me.

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give  you rest." Matt 11:28
"He gives power to the faint and weary, and to him who has no might, He increases strength." Is 40:29

Yes, choosing trust. Daily.

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Last month we went to a lovely outdoor wedding.



We went with two of our favorites.




And there will be more to follow....

I'm wondering if we are going to run out of things to pack before the month is up. Things are looking increasingly sparse around here! I packed all my vases a while ago. This is my sole canning jar left in the cupboards. All the rest were packed up/sold in our garage sale.
But, a girl can't live too long without fresh flowers, you know.

One problem I have now, though, is that the cat jumps on the table and tries to eat whatever I have out. He was especially fond of my baby's breath.
I had to stop bringing it into the house.

**********
Contemplating our upcoming goodbyes, we had an outburst of crying here yesterday.
It's not a bad thing, though.

"Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause... The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.
It is like a plow that breaks the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the pain of rejection, absence or death,
you are faced with a choice.
You can become bitter and decide no to love again,
or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soul on which you stand
become richer and more able to give life to new seeds."
~ H. Nouwen

It's tempting to harden your heart when love hurts - to wear a little protective callous.
God doesn't do that, though. He embraces both the hurt and the joy of the loving.

And -
"God's love has been poured out in your hearts through the Holy Spirit." Rom 5:5
"Let your love be sincere....hold fast to that which is good." Rom 12:9
"Owe no man anything, except to love one another." Rom 13:8
"Love never fails." 1 Cor 13:8
"The love of Christ controls and urges, or impels us." 2 Cor 5:14

I'll just buy more tissues.

**********

This is my latest craft project:

I usually do counted cross-stitch, so this needlepoint has provided some nice variety.
As you can see, I still have a ways to go.
Maybe it'll be done by the time we finish our journey on the Oregon Trail.....

Amidst all our uncertainty and the tedium of packing right now, I think perhaps my biggest struggle has been simply not feeling well. Insomnia has probably played the largest role in that, as well as stress. My compassion for those struggling with chronic illness has only increased.  It's a challenge to stay encouraged when you just don't feel well.
Without the sustenance that comes from following Jesus, I'd be sinking.
But thank You, Lord - You keep me going.

"We will be glad and rejoice in Thee...We, the called and faithful and chosen, we will drive away our griefs and set up our banners of confidence in the name of God....Since, O Sweet Lord Jesus, Thou art the present portion of Thy people, favor us...with such a sense of Thy preciousness that...we may be glad and rejoice in Thee." ~ C. Spurgeon

"I will...make the Valley of...Troubling to be....a door of hope and expectation." Hos 2:15
"Behold, our God upon Whom we have waited and hoped..." Is 25:9

I may stumble, but I'm going to keep waiting and hoping.

Our realtor leaves on his trip today. Yesterday we wrote up a rental agreement with him to rent this house we are trying to purchase. If we cannot come to an equitable agreement before moving day, with the seller's bank, we'll need to scramble for an alternative.
Or, if we cannot reach a just conclusion after moving day, we'll need to move right back out. At this point, unless something changes to make things look really positive,
we're planning not to unpack much in August.

But we are waiting and hoping... and choosing trust.

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Good morning, sunshine!

If I were a butterfly, I'd land here - wouldn't you?

Heidie is working a babysitting job this summer for 3 boys.
She drew this for the youngest, who loves Bob the Builder:

She's doing a terrific job and earning big bucks, too!

Well, the ante is up some, in terms of our stress levels here. Still no word on the house in OR, and we just found out that our realtor out there is going to be out of the state all next week.  Now, really that fact changes nothing, save that he is our sole connection to this deal at this point, and so it means slower activity and even less information coming our way....and, yes it feels that we are quickly approaching "the wire", so to speak. The tentative moving date is in a month. We can envision the possibility of a mad scramble to find housing at the last minute, if things don't fall into place soon. We are doing our very best to lay hold of the Lord's peace amidst this, but I'd be lying if I did not confess that it's a bit of a battle. At the same time, of course, I keep packing up the house, Rob keeps arranging all the moving details and we're doing what needs to be done to get Jesse in art school
out in Portland shortly after we arrive.

"Those obsessed with questions about cause...often [turn] against God. In contrast, the triumphant sufferers [take] individual responsibility for their own responses, and [trust] God despite the discomfort." ~ P. Yancey

"Amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us." Rom 8:37

Doing our best to trust, despite the current discomforts.

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One of the nice things about packing is that your "stuff" gets cleaned, sorted through,
and organized. In recent days I took down this quilt,
which normally hangs on our living room wall, and I washed it, and stored it away.




I was afraid it wouldn't weather a scrubbing well, but it did. It came to me from my grandmother and it was either made by her mom or her grandmother. Unfortunately, I am not sure which it is. It's enjoyable to imagine a lady related to me, pouring hours into detailed work that such a labor of love demands.



So many tiny stitches. As I sorted through my things, my desire to sew again has stirred up, as I've uncovered stashes of cloth, patterns, and half-finished projects.

I wonder what hopes and prayers were cherished by the one
who pushed her needle in and out of this handiwork?

I spent last night with a dear friend, on her b'day. We are attempting to do something together every week while I am still here. I haven't begun yet to capture those "one-last-time photos" of folks, but I imagine I'll be getting to that stage soon. We close on this house in exactly 30 days. We're still waiting for word on our house in OR. If it falls through, there's going to be some serious scrambling in the days ahead!
Nothing like going on an adventure to keep your adrenaline high!

Meanwhile, I continue to make progress.

 

No more curtains up, nor wall hangings. The room now echoes!



Before too long we will no longer have room for the car out in the garage.

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"My final vocation is...to become like the Father and to live out His divine compassion in my daily life.....We all participate to a greater or lesser degree in all the forms of human brokenness. Do I want to be not just the one who is being forgiven, but also the one who forgives, and not just the one who is being welcomed home, but also the one who welcomes home, and not just the one who receives compassion, but the one who offers it as well?"
~ H. Nouwen

Amen, that's exactly what I want.

"Become....kind...tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted, forgiving...readily and freely." Eph 4:32

I so want to add my little part of Jesus' love to this hurting world.
 

Jesse, (youngest son), Josh, (oldest son), and Kirsten, (Josh's dear wife), are off driving to Illinois today en route to a week-long music festival, called Cornerstone.
Generally, it's a little more of an edgy crowd and venue than I'd prefer, but I hope they have a terrific time. The delight will be seeing Iona, (a "progressive Celtic rock band") - they only tour in the U.S. occasionally. Even I would enjoy seeing them.

Still no news on our house in OR, other than the fact
that we have better contacts at the banks now.
Still waiting for a good word from them.

********

Ever look at your life
and wish it were, at least a wee bit, more like that of someone else you know?
Especially when you are under stress?

"Envy is a sickness that only gratitude can heal." ~ anonymous

"Godliness accompanied with contentment is great and abundant gain." 1 Tim 6:6

I've been tempted often over the last 4 & 1/2 years to want life to be different than what has been handed to me. It's been a good schoolroom
for learning that Jesus alone is enough.
Gratitude 101.

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This variety is extra frilly, "doubled" and therefore twice as delightful:





Back to my boxes today!

************
Heidie with one of her dear friends who fosters her reluctance to move:



Such lovely girls.

************

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Lilies, lilies everywhere....



Some of them are playing peek-a-boo.

Familiar with the term "a feeding frenzy"? Well, my girls are in a friend frenzy these days, getting in as much time with much beloved friends as they can, 24/7.
Totally understandable.

Meanwhile, here were my friends yesterday:

Raggedy Ann and Andy, a homemade pickanniny doll, which I suppose is rather offensive, but she delighted me as a child, the red-headed Janet - named after my newborn cousin when I was a little girl, David, (Jon's early friend), Moosey, (Jesse's chum), Baby Big Bird, (Josh's buddy), and my teddy bear with the internal music box, who resided in my crib.
And, this is how I'm treating my friends these days:

Yes, Oregon bound! Too bad I can't package up some of the living ones
and bring them along as well. 

Yesterday the bank that is giving us conniptions reassigned our file to a new negotiator, who will hopefully be communicating with us more. Otherwise, we're still on hold. Five weeks from today we should be packing the moving truck[s]....headed for somewhere!
(Choosing not to panic, though I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind!)

***********

I've put in an email to Xanga to try to figure out what has happened to my email notifications. Meanwhile, if you have something important to say in response to any comments I leave on your blog - you had best message me! I could spend all day looking for elusive and potential responses otherwise...and I can't afford to do that! Still too much packing to do, even though it looks like we now live in a warehouse!
Boxes, boxes everywhere!

We still haven't heard from the bank in OR yet, so we really are packing by faith.
This whole season of our lives pokes at a bigger life question: How do you hear from God and know what He is doing and what He wants of you? Obviously the first and best answer is His word. I'm so grateful for the sustenance and direction He gives each day from that rich source of life nutrition. But you know, sometimes we need to sense things that are a little more specific to us and that's where the listening becomes tricky.

"When we set out to hear God's voice...it comes to us from within,
in the heart, the dwelling place of God." ~ J. Eldredge

That's why it is so important to keep your heart aright - fully submitted and committed to God, without letting other things sneak in and steal your affections.

"Christ, through your faith, [will] actually dwell, settle down, abide,
make His...home in your hearts." Eph 3:17

"With my whole heart have I sought You...oh, let me not wander or step aside." Ps 119;10

"Let me see Your face, let me hear Your voice." Song of Sol 2:14

It's tempting, especially when under stress, to let other things intrude upon and take over your heart - all the worries, the "what ifs", common sense and logic, alternative options, distractions that soothe. We're trying to keep our hearts seeking hard after Him,
and are doing our best to trust Him to take care of what is/what is not to come. 
Yes, we hear Him primarily saying: "Trust Me."

***********
From our little Fathers' Day pic-i-nic....unfortunately without my oldest ones nor my youngest. The oldest were at their homes, miles from here, and Jenny had to babysit.
But the rest of us enjoyed ourselves.

And, of course, no special occasion is complete without a card from Heidie:

I'm grateful that not only did God bless me with a terrific life partner and companion,
but He's given me a wonderful dad for my kids.